No, in some cases it turns out that Santa is not the evil one. No, in many cases, it is his nefarious helpers. As seen below, the culprit is Santa's favorite helper: MOM. Well beyond their childhood years, the women seen below are required to have their picture taken with Santa before they can get their presents. No wonder these two women are so emotionally damaged:
What these ladies fail to realize is that, when they're their mother's age, they're going to absolutely love this series of Santa photos, and will hold their children to the same requirements. So the Circle of Life goes... (via)
Well, I imagine most children in Baltimore are on the verge of emotional collapse as it is, if John Waters movies and The Wire have taught me anything, so it's only natural for Santa to push them over the edge:
You'd think that, since they live so close to Santa, children from Minnesota would handle the encounter better. Sadly, no: the terror of Santa lives within us all:
Not today, but from Monday when I was digging out from a huge blizzard. -10°, windy, and snowy...your breath will freeze to your face, if there's enough hair on it:
Contextual-based ads, will you ever stop being hilarious? This is what I got during my search for screaming-kids-on-santa's-lap photos. No, really, kentucky.com, tell us why you think kids should be so terrified of Santa's lap:
It's that time of year, kids: you're only a couple years old, your parents are promising you presents if you're good, but before that can happen, you are going to be handed over to a costumed horror who will interrogate you about your behavior. And that's after being tortured by standing in line for an hour while watching other kids screaming at the guy as well. Ah, the life of a shopping mall Santa:
